What Kids Want!

Today, I spoke with my five year old niece about school.  I asked her what she wanted her new teacher to be like.  Her response didn't really surprise me, but I did think it was interesting, so I'm sharing it as a reminder.

1.  I want her to be like me.  I want her to have red hair just like me and to look like me and also pretty like mommy.

2.  I want her to love me.

3.  I want her to be nice.  (I followed up by asking what that looked like and she said, "I don't know what she'll look like.  I don't know who my teacher is yet.") After clarifying Della said, "She will hug me and help me.  When I make a mistake she'll say, 'It's okay Della, and then I can clean up my mess."

It's that simple: love, be kind, and have grace for the children and the families in your class.  Make time to build relationships with each of them by getting to know them and who they are.  My goal for this year is to slow down, accept the day for what it is, breathe a little, and just be fully present in the moment.

Consciousness

Last week, I was able to go to another Conscious Discipline training.  I'm not really sure how to describe what Conscious Discipline (CD) is, so I'll just quote them.  "Conscious Discipline integrates social-emotional learning, discipline, and self regulation so you spend less time on policing behaviors and more time teaching vital life skills."

I'm going to start sharing what I've learned by implementing CD in my classroom.  This is little by little because there's a lot to it.  One of my favorite things I changed last year was my shared writing.  I'd write a question on each large paper, and divide the class into groups and let them draw their answer.

I first started doing this because my class couldn't sit long enough for everyone to share their response.  They were rolling around, getting up, and just not able to handle it.  I found that this kept them busy longer, and I was able to talk with them a little bit deeper about their response because they were occupied.  That was the great AH-HA! moment that I loved.  What I was NOT prepared for was the whining!  "He's coloring on my side!  She won't give me the green crayon.  They said my picture was ugly!"  I was ready to pull my hair out!  At first, I added more crayon buckets and then I'd switch the group around, but nothing seemed to help.  I realized that I shied away from this conflict in the classroom.  What I should have been doing was teaching them how to work through it.  So, that's what I started doing.  Each group only got one cup of crayons, and I put the kids together who didn't get along during the day.  I watched to see if they could navigate their problems on their own, and when they needed help, I provided direction.  It was hard.  No one likes hearing the fussing, and if I'm honest, I couldn't do it every day.  There were times, I just knew I didn't have it in me.  It was never 100% perfect and they still argued, but it did get better.  

I learned that when I teach social emotional skills, I am teaching just that...a SKILL.  (As one teacher pointed out to me the other day, these are the same skills you'll need when driving!  Waiting your turn and a stop light, not getting angry and retaliating when someone cuts you off or takes your parking spot, etc).  I don't expect children to know how to read just because I say they should read.  I don't expect them to be able to add because I said so.  But I was expecting this with social emotional.  It's not a quick fix.  As a teacher, a parent, a person who interacts in general with children, we need to be conscious of what we are teaching.  Are we encouraging tattling and whining by solving every little problem, or are we slowing down enough to realize they need to be taught a different way?  Are we being conscious and intentional about WHAT we teach ~ social skills included?