We are strong even when it's hard...REALLY, REALLY hard. Just to put things into perspective, I had 16 kindergartners my first year here and FIVE had a parent or step parent pass away while they were in my class or just before school started. It was a tough year with lots of emotions. I've always taught in a Title I school, but not quite like this. My first week, I asked a student to make sure his parents signed a paper that we were waiting on and he replied, "Did you forget my mom died?" I had an unaccompanied minor in my class, a student who told me his dad was so sad his mom passed away, that he couldn't work and he didn't have a lot of food at home. I hate sharing this and I'm a bit self conscious about it. I don't really know why... I remember one day a couple years ago, when I had a particularly hard week. There was so much going on with my students, and I came home and lost it. I hung my keys and bag up in the kitchen, and then I started crying. I literally could not make myself stop. I laid in the kitchen floor trying to quit and trying to breathe, and I just couldn't. Finally, my husband, not knowing what else to do, brought me a Tylenol PM and simply said, "It'll be better in the morning." I fell asleep drained and exhausted. He was right though. It was better in the morning after some much needed rest.
I saw this quote from the blog It's A Mother Thing.
I haven't read much of her blog yet, but this caught my eye. It's in a post titled "Self Care is Not Selfish." What I've realized is that sometimes, when we continuously keep going, we don't give the best of us. It's like a logger who doesn't take the time to sharpen his ax. His blade is dull, and the work is longer and harder. If he'd invest a little time, he would be so much more productive. (Teachers you know the feeling when you cut with dull scissor blades). That's part of the reason I started this blog, so I can spend time writing about what I love to do! Helping children is challenging, uncomfortable, and frustrating sometimes, but I refuse to let these kids only get what is left (so many students get the leftovers at home). So, I write, I go to Combat class (like Zumba, but with kicking and punching instead of Salsa moves), I craft, and I listen to music. I even go to bed early when I can. This week, I'll go to Conscious Discipline training to sharpen my ax and skills. I do the things I'm excited about because I want my students to get and remember the best of me everyday.
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